The First Source

Last Sunday, we went on a family trip to the park. This time, for a change, it was to the big and beautiful Prospect Park, rather than the local playground. Upshernish for Child #2 is coming up and we needed a photo for the invitation.

We parked the car, and piled out: little five-month-old and twenty-month-old in the double stroller, and two-year-old and four-year old being cheerily cajoled to walk on their own little feet.

And off we went into the park.

You could say I was a bit culture shocked at the crowd we came across (or almost got run over by) as we crossed the biking/jogging lanes. You see, I kinda spend most of my life at home, aside for our weekly visits to Mom’s, and occasional trips to the playground. I work from home too, so I really need an excuse to get out. Thank G-d I love my little sun-drenched house, so no complaints there; but sometimes I forget what the outside world looks like until it hits me in the face.

Let’s put it this way: it was awkward. Hundreds of adult singles walking, biking, jogging, a sprinkling of couples, a fair number of dogs… But no children. None. Not even one. (Ok, my husband says he did see some later – I’m glad Brooklyn still does own some kids!)

And there I was, with my four babies spilling out of my stroller, on an outing.

The saving grace of schlepping around a bunch of children is they keep you busy and very distracted. I can’t say I remember noticing any stares, other than the laughing one of the guy walking his black-and-white spotted dog, which my daughter kindly and clearly dubbed a cow. How can you not love that?

But we are an anomaly. And since we are (thankfully) somewhat socially aware, at times it can be uncomfortable.

So it’s good sometimes to remind ourselves: Why do we do this?

Because we love our kids and the joy that they give us? It’s true. But they are also a lot of work. And honestly, how many do we really need to get our fair share of nachas?

Well, here’s a little radical thought for you.

The reason Jews have many children is actually not so they’ll have 150 grandchildren at their seder one day. I mean, maybe for some that’s a major motivator. But the real reason is much more relevant.

It’s simply because we follow the Torah. Because we are Jewish and we aim to fulfill the word of G-d as it was passed on to us through Moshe.

Do you know what the first commandment in the Torah is?

No, it’s not kiddush hachodesh. That’s the first one given to the Jews as a nation. The first in the entire Torah is this one: “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the world and conquer it!” (Bereishit 1:28)

First and foremost: Have children, and fill the world with good people.

The sequence in the Torah is a big deal, and firsts are very significant. It doesn’t take much to understand the significance here. For who will fulfill the rest of the Torah if not our children?

If we really want to do the will of G-d, let’s just say this is a good place to start. Keeping Shabbos, eating kosher, wrapping tefillin – they all come after.

Now, the details of what constitutes the mitzvah (min hatorah) itself is complex, with varied opinions, and our rabbinic department is working to clarify it for us in a future post. But regardless of whether having two children technically fulfills one’s obligation or not, all opinions agree that it is a mitzvah derabanan to have children as long as one can.

As for my next walk in the park? Well, it might still be awkward. It’s also awkward being all covered up in the summer, as it is walking with my black-hatted and bearded husband. But I never felt bad about that, because I never thought it should be otherwise.

Neither should I feel odd about the size of my family. It isn’t an outdated, primitive tradition to try and have a large family. It is a basic Torah commandment. And just as I work hard to fulfill the other 612 to the best of my ability, I do my best to fulfill this one too.

It’s the first mitzvah. It’s a big deal.