Hi there!
It’s been a while… and we are thrilled to announce that just under six weeks ago, we welcomed another beautiful baby boy into our family.
Recovering after birth is always a journey, and this time, thank G-d, it’s been a mostly blessed one. Somehow we had more help than ever before, which made my recovery all that much easier.
And yet, there’s always that struggle, that feeling of guilt when we put ourselves in the center for a change.
I wrote this three weeks ago as I talked myself through that struggle. And while it sounds almost silly reading it over (seriously, why do I need to justify myself?), I’m sure that some of you can relate.
It’s OK to Rest
My baby is three weeks old today.
He entered this world in all his nine-pound glory on the second night of Sukkos, winning us a wonderful Simchas Torah bris in our community shul.
I haven’t been out of the house since then.
I’ve just been home with the baby, feeding, diapering, and settling him to sleep in a never-ending cycle.
Sometimes I’ll hang around when the kids get home and talk to them a bit. But when they get rowdy, I close myself in my room.
My schedule these days makes me feel pretty useless. By the time I get up, it’s usually afternoon, but I’m still so tired that after an hour or two I’m back on the couch for a nap, and sometimes even two before bedtime. That is, if I can get the baby to sleep in the swing.
It seems like a lot of sleeping.
Sometimes I manage about an hour of housework in between it all.
Because there’s a lot of housework begging to be done.
But I don’t do it all.
Maybe if I didn’t nap so much I could do more, I think.
Maybe I could do some while I’m burping the baby.
Sometimes I even think about doing some work on the computer. We could use the income, after all.
But I don’t.
I remind myself that it’s okay for me to be just a postpartum mother for now.
Even if we don’t have all the women of the village hovering over me for 30 days.
Their trays of food for supper are enough of a reminder that they are there and supporting us as best as they can.
And I can treat myself for 30 days (or more) like the postpartum mother I am.
Even if I am the only one doing so.
It’s okay if my house is somewhat neglected for a few weeks.
It’s okay if I don’t contribute to the finances for a little while.
My body is important to me, and I know it will be stronger because I gave it time to heal. Caring for my health is an investment in my family that will pay off in the short and the long term.
The dishes will be cleaned, the clothes will be washed, and the toys will be put away eventually, one way or another.
And I’ll be back working hard at work and at home in a few very short weeks.
But for now, it’s okay to rest.
First is all whenever I see a new post i jump over to the website and eagerly read it 🙂
I loved reading this and I really feel like this talks to me. I always feel bad when I put myself first. I feel like I need to be super women. Even post birth, thinking “you still need to rest?” And that guilt of just not doing it all. Still trying to practice that skill here. Even after a miscarriage (or 2🙈), when I felt like I took on too much, and didn’t listen to my body enough, still having a hard time letting go and putting my needs first. Though Bh I think I’m slowly learning 🙂 This is a good reminder just how important that is.
Thanks Leah! I know I’m not the only one! But it’s so important, putting ourselves first during these times is the best thing we can do for our family in the long run…
Hey wow you are really amazing with ur writing u defitnally need to have a goal to write a book one day i would love to read it
I camt imagine that feeling as i have only one but kol hakovd for seeing that u can take it easy and relax hurry mama
Taking care of u and making u happy will make the whole house fam happy
So good job
Hows my lil malka doing;)))
Thanks Dina for the love and support <3
Thank G-d Malka is doing great, she's a little mama who can't get enough of her new baby! Come visit 😉