Aren’t five children enough?

Sometimes you discover your true feelings when you’re caught off guard.

We had a handyman in our house the other day. His name was Chris. He’s been in and out a few times since we moved, and so he’d gotten to know our family a bit.

As he was walking out, he noticed my four-month-old on his play mat. “Is that your last one?” He asked me.

I balked. “What?”

Was I hearing right? I mean, I’m sure he was just trying to make conversation. But why did he think my family’s size was any of his business?

“I hope not!” I retorted instinctively, smiling awkwardly in an attempt to temper my sharp response.

I was surprised at my reaction. I mean, it may have sounded casual enough, but boy, was I taking this to heart.

Luckily, he didn’t seem to hear me. “Is this your latest baby?” He repeated.

Oh. “Yes, thank G-d, he’s our fifth.”

“Very nice!” He said. And he was off to his next job. I guess he’s actually used to families like ours.

Having five kids in five years is no small feat. And when the going gets tough, sometimes I wonder if this is really what I want for my life. But I saw now that I was for real. No, I didn’t want to stop at five. G-d forbid. Even if others believe that’s over the limit.  Even if five kids, never mind five in five years, is more than enough for many. Not for me.

To me, five is still a small number.  Five is the number of kids that our ‘unfortunate’ friends with ‘small’ families had growing up. Ten is a nice size family (that was us), and even twelve didn’t sound tremendous.  As for more than that, well, those were the really lucky tribes. If only we would be so blessed!

The fact is, everything in life has its difficult side. Nobody is given a free ride in this world. But let’s just say I’d much prefer the tough side of a houseful of healthy children than most other unpleasant things in life.

And when you focus on the good, which I try so hard to do, there is so much good to enjoy.

Carrying a child in your body as it grows from a tiny bit of tissue into a complete human being is insanely amazing. It literally blows my mind on a daily basis, this crazy miracle of pregnancy. In fact, there were times after birth that I missed that sensation of those little limbs kicking inside me.  

There’s birth itself – another mind-blowing experience. Body-blowing too, but all it takes is a few short months, and I’m back to myself… and there’s another kid in our house that never existed before. How do we take this for granted?

There’s my darling one-year-old, who fills my life with nonsensical babble and his irresistible cheeky smile as he covers his hair with peanut butter and yogurt straight out of the bath. I can barely hide my laugh as I tell him off, which I don’t really expect to have any effect at all.

There’s that beautiful energy of my three-year-old just graduating the baby stage, alternating between trying to keep up with her older siblings and obsessively (if sometimes dangerously) fussing over the “real babies.”

And the four-year-old and five-year-old who never know the meaning of boredom as they re-enact the parsha together, teach each other to read before their friends, and trade stickers they receive from their Bubby until long after they stopped sticking anymore.

Surely as they grow older, they will learn to help around the house, be more responsible for their actions, and contribute more to the order in the house than to the chaos.

And meanwhile, we’ll be happy to bring in more children to keep that baby energy alive, if we should only be so blessed.

Every stage is different, crazy and amazing in its own way. But it’s the combination of them all that makes my family truly complete.

No, Chris, we really hope this isn’t our last baby.

May G-d grant us many more, along with the ability to raise them in good health and happiness.