Getting enough help… when you really don’t think you can

I have always struggled with cleaning help.

With a household of eight, husband who works full-time, and a part time job myself, there’s lots of action, lots of mess, and too little cleaning up.

I wish I could say it’s just the deep cleaning that doesn’t happen, but… that wouldn’t be totally accurate.

Do I need to excuse myself?

Either way, I have come to accept that outside help is a necessity for my family, although we don’t really have much of a budget for it.
Because my children are royal children of Hashem who deserve a present mother and a clean home. For that, Hashem would certainly provide.

Stage 1

For years now I have had a cleaning woman once a week, at first just for a few hours to deep clean, but eventually also to fold all the laundry which I make sure to wash the day before she comes.

Each time my lady left me – which inevitably she would – it took me some time until I found someone new that I liked. I even agreed to pay more when I found someone who didn’t leave spots on my floors and crumbs on the seat of my high chairs. I didn’t need to hire someone to clean like I already did five times a day, which barely lasted an hour.

So I got her once a week on Tuesday for as many hours as it took to get it all done.

Why Tuesday?
Good question. The truth is I really needed Friday.
But I had lots of reasons it just wouldn’t work.

Most good ladies were booked Fridays.
Fridays weren’t practical because I didn’t like someone in my way when I was cooking.
Friday afternoon the kids were home (when there was school, anyway) and they would be in the way, and I usually managed to get them to help prepare for Shabbos anyway.

My second choice would be Sunday, to help clean up from Shabbos, but I figured most women wouldn’t work then.
Monday wasn’t great for other reasons.

So Tuesday it was.

The schedule worked for me pretty well for a few years, when there were less of us. But as our family grew, and certainly since COVID turned over our life as we knew it, there were five days a week of counting down till Maria came.

Stage 2

Finally I admitted to myself that I needed her to come another day.
But I had a dozen reasons it wouldn’t – couldn’t – work.

First of all, I didn’t want to have to train in someone else. I needed the same lady twice a week.
And she told me the only days she didn’t work was Monday and Wednesday. I didn’t need her two days in a row!
Also, I didn’t think I needed another full day of work. My house is small. A half day would be fine.
But would she travel all the way for just three hours?

So nothing happened for at least a month, while I struggled each week to get the house in at least minimally decent shape for Shabbos.

And then I was reminded of the story of the woman complaining to the Rebbe that she wasn’t managing with all her little children, and the Rebbe’s response to increase her cleaning help.

I wasn’t managing. Fridays were positively crazy and I wasn’t even happy with the results.

But getting more cleaning help was easier said than done.
What could I do?

It was a problem with no simple solution in sight. My family needed something that just wasn’t possible.

Or… was it?

Is there a solution?

Maybe I just thought it wasn’t possible.
But for Hashem we know that anything is possible.
And Hashem is my father, and the father of my children.

This was something we needed.
And He could do anything.

Maybe it was possible.
Maybe I just needed to try.

So I started to think. What could I try?

I knew Maria worked on Thursdays and Fridays.
But the next time she came I decided to ask her anyway.

“I want you to come another day a week,” I told her. “But just for three hours.”

“Ok,” she said. “Which day? I work on Monday, Tuesday here, Wednesday free but you dont need me two days in a row…how about Friday? I only work from one o clock.”

Oh. My. G-d.

This couldn’t be real.
My own cleaning lady, on Friday during school hours. And she would agree to come for three hours!

“Perfect!” I said. “So you can come to me from nine to twelve! That’s just great!”

I couldn’t believe there was such a simple solution. And I had wasted all this time stressing out every Friday because I had been sure it wouldn’t work.

What I learned

I was wrong.
There was a solution.
There had always been a solution.

All I needed to do was try. To ask.
To stop finding reasons why it wouldn’t work.
And to let G-d help me.
Because he knows exactly what I need.
And as long as I don’t get in the way, he always provides.

It happened when we needed a bigger apartment, when we needed a house, and when we needed new jobs. But those are each a story of their own.

I only needed to remember the lesson.
G-d gave me these children, and he gave me my life. And he has prepared everything I need, big or small, to make it work so I could serve Him properly.

He only wants me to put in the effort, to come up with solutions or at least reach out for them, so the credit for the results would be mine.

The first Friday is tomorrow.
My house still looks semi-decent.
Now it will be properly cleaned for Shabbos.

Thank you, Hashem, for the big, for the small, and for reminding me how much you really care.