Any Great Party Leaves a Great Mess

That night was a good night. Bedtime was relatively smooth and early, and for a change didn’t leave me completely drained. 

We had eaten on our front porch that day, taking advantage of the unusually pleasant weather. And there I was, sweeping up stray cups and forks outside with the front door open wide to my messy house, when a man approached to deliver a package I had ordered. 

I wished him a good evening as I self-consciously glanced at the state of my home. Goodness, he probably thinks we are the biggest slobs. 

But then, as I gave it a second look, another thought crossed my mind. There were tables, folding chairs, plates, forks and cups. Some traces of food. It looks like we had a party. 

Well that certainly makes it better. Everyone knows any good party leaves a mess. 

I braced myself for his friendly, “Had a party, huh?” with my best comeback. 

“Yup. Every day’s a party here!” 

Projecting

It’s funny how much of my life experience is just in my head. 

The man didn’t actually say a word. I don’t even remember if he returned my greeting. But the imaginary exchange, along with the feelings it brought on, remained in my mind.

Why did I get so stressed when my house got messy? What was there to be embarrassed of? Why was the mess from a party more justified than from a busy dinner with my family?

I realized that once again I was projecting my own outlook on others. Somehow in my head it was more socially acceptable to leave a mess after a party – which, presumably, one had prepared for a few hours, and then spent hours entertaining the guests, and which you might not clean up immediately – than to leave mess every day after dinner. 

Well maybe I could use this little imaginary exchange to reframe it. 

Dinner in our home is not an event of four mature people sitting at a table eating a simple plate of food. Not even close. 

Dinner in our house, as well as many other things that happen here, actually is more like a party. There’s food, there’s action, there’s noise, and six tiny, joyous little people constantly celebrating life. And then there’s two adults (and sometimes just one) trying to keep it all together. What do you expect?

Life is a party. Parties make mess. But at the end of the day, it’s the good times we remember that make it all worth it.

P.S. In case any of you have not yet heard, I recently published an article in the Bais Rivkah Alumnae Embrace Magazine. Based on the feedback I received, it’s worth your time 😉
You can read it online on page 54 here, or borrow an issue from a friend.